I was in several meetings yesterday where parents and guardians were asking “How do I talk to my kid about this?” as they themselves were trying to figure out their own feelings. And yeah, we watched an attempted coup happen in the USA yesterday. The democratic process was interrupted. The house of government was breached and desecrated by white supremacist terrorists yesterday. Hateful and racist and Christian nationalist flags, banners, signs and actions were present in the place where Congress does the foundational act of this democracy: validating the vote. So…how do we talk to each other and how do we talk to kids?

Here are some tips and resources. By no means are they comprehensive, but I share them in hopes they are helpful. I will continue adding resources as I find them.

My personal guidelines:

• use accurate words (not “protest” or “protestor”: “riot,” “terrorist,” “insurrection,” “attempted coup”

• denounce white supremacy and Christian nationalism at all times

• don’t pressure anyone (adults or kids) into a space of reconciliation. That often is a coverup for comfortable appeasement and in many ways validates the actions that led to the conversation (in this case, an insurrection)

• listen, listen, listen to the people who are in pain

• speak to people you trust and be honest about your feelings

• if you have capacity, reach out to others who have differing opinions (again: if you have the capacity. No shame if you don’t right now, or ever.)

• be curious. Keep learning.

• stay informed to the level that your mental health can take. It’s ok to take breaks from the news or social media. Do what is right for your brain and your body right now. Doomscrolling doesn’t always help (trust me, this was me most of Wednesday).

A Practice for Youth (from Brittany Porch, shared on Facebook 1/7/21)

No matter what you're feeling today, that’s ok. It’s be an unsettling 24 hrs in our country.

Try this practice:

Pause - write down 3 emotions you are feeling.

Dig deeper - write down your opinion of what’s happening and how you feel about it

Speak and listen - find a trusted adult (parent, teacher, coach, pastor) or a good friend or sibling and share your feelings and opinion/perspective. Then stop. And invite your partner to share their own too, even if different than yours. And truly try to listen and hear their perspective, and know it’s fine to keep your own feelings and perspective while listening to theirs. And yet, we all change and it’s ok if your feelings and opinions change too as you deepen your listening.

Trust your feelings - Your feelings are real and valid. Don’t doubt yourself.

Breathe and Pray - God is with us when we are joyful, scared and angry. Take 5 deep breaths and know God is with you. Amen.